by Pastor Charlie

Even as a young child, I often had a sense that I was a bad person—like I wanted to do what was right, but I did what was wrong. It was just who I was and couldn’t be changed. I realized that I had been labeled by my teachers as a “bad kid”. One time early in the school year after having misbehaved, my teacher pulled me aside and told me that my teacher from last year had said that I would be trouble. As an adult, I realize now that she never should have said that to a child, but it did reinforce what I had been feeling for a long time: I was a bad person who continually did bad things.

We were a church-going family, and one day at church the Sunday School teacher said something to the group that confused me. She said to all of us kids, “I am a Christian, and I hope that all of you will become Christians one day too.” It confused me because I thought we already were Christians because we were all from church-going families.

Then one day, an older man in the church started talking to me about these things, and I asked him what a Christian was. He told me that a Christian was someone who had been forgiven of all of their sins because they had Jesus in their heart. He went on to explain to me that no one is perfect in this life except for Jesus Christ. But even in His perfection, Jesus had taken my sin upon Himself and died on the cross for me. He said that if I were to ask Jesus to come into my life and forgive me, believing that He died and rose from the dead for me, then He would forgive my sins and come live in my heart.

That man and I had two conversations along those lines, and for about three or four weeks I thought about it a lot. Then one Sunday night at church, it’s like I could feel God telling me that it was time for me to ask Jesus to forgive my sins and to come live inside my heart. That night, as I lay in bed, I continued to think about it, and I could feel God telling me that I needed to do this. So, I just prayed a short prayer in my head something like, “God, I know I’m a sinner. Please forgive my sin. Jesus, please come into my heart.” After praying that prayer, it really felt as though Jesus came into my soul. I felt forgiven. I felt as though I had been given a fresh start.

Almost thirty years have gone by since that night, and I’ve learned much more about God’s grace in my failures. I’ve come to realize that “fresh starts” are a regular occurrence as I daily struggle to submit to that Man that I made Lord over my life even as a boy.

Despite the daily struggles, I know that Jesus has impacted my life. I feel very blessed to have had that experience while I was young because my childhood and teen years were greatly enriched by times of prayer and Bible reading and being around people in church who loved me. The hymns that we sang were very meaningful expressions of what Jesus was doing inside me. I was able to avoid a lot of the mistakes that my friends made. Not that I was without temptation and sin, but many of those things didn’t even appeal to me.

To this day, I have this sense that God has been with me and will continue with me no matter what happens. When I read the Bible and pray, I have this sense that He is right here with me. Jesus’ presence in my life and the work that He’s doing in my heart makes me a better husband, a better father, a better person. Jesus Christ daily forgives my sin and changes me into the person He wants me to be. I’m trusting Him and allowing Him to continue that work in my life.